Friday, January 16, 2009


n. Someone of advanced age, who has grown old, moving against the grain — socially, psychologically, politically, etc.

“The obtudinarian of the year award was given to R. Fallweather Snooze, whose life has been spent as, well, a kind of Robin Hood confidence man, returning what he had so skillfully gotten from others and given back with such panache, flavor, and fullness that the law or, in most cases, the ‘injured’ party, had, on all occasions, been asked to ‘forgive the forgiver’ or ‘reclaim the reclaimer,’ in a word, to receive as a gift an often large part of the overflow of his illegal gaining (robbery, of course), which he had, in such stylistic bravado, so graciously returned, since, it is known to many, our obtudinarian of the year has, from the beginning of his so fanciful a career in florid and flavorful deception, it must be said, never taken a penny, a nickel, a dollar, a sawbuck, a greenback, a CD, and investment portfolio that he has not returned, and returned, in deed, with interest, as if he were the manager of a massive trust fund, and I mean ‘returned with interest,’ ladies and gentlemen, in both senses of the word.” Obtudinarians of Note, a Classified Clearbook of the Last One Hundred Years on Which Records Have Been Kept of These Celebrated Personages, Correlating, Clarifying, Criticizing, Commending, and Commenting on the Value and Variability of Such Cases. Dissy Grace Molar. 1938.

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